Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Hello, my name is worry wart. **updated**

I am stressed. I am worried. Everything feels like it crashing down on me at this very moment. I know its bad when I wake up in the morning and puke...and it happened this morning. No, I am not pregnant...wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize the adoption now would I?

First up, my class work for my summer school class is not finished and I am supposed to have it in the mail by oh um…SATURDAY. I’ll be lucky if I get it mailed by Monday. I’m mad at myself because this is all my doing. procrastination

Buying a house is like buying a car - - but worse. It’s totally exciting, but very time consuming and stressful. Here’s what has me stressed out about this little task right now… Apparently when one mentions that one is buying a house EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER has a real estate agent that I should use. So, now I’m overwhelmed and worried about who I should choose and who am I going to piss off if I don’t choose to use their real estate agent.

I have family coming to visit early August, and August thru September. Operation deep clean is on my mind.

Why oh why did I say yes to Chinese lessons when all of the above is going on. I know why I did, because I really wanted to do it, but the reality of it is that it’s just another thing I’ve added to my plate that I did not have time for right now. I will say that I do enjoy my tutor immensely, and I am glad I am doing it. I just wish the opportunity would have presented itself at a different time.

Here’s the other thing I do. I tend to keep my worries bottled up inside. Then it gets to the point where I just have to get it out there so that I can ease my mind a bit, come up with a plan of attack I suppose. Perhaps that is why I am laying it out there in blog land.

My brother and I had some good discussions about my constant worries when we were in ND. I don’t know how he does it, but he doesn’t seem to worry all that much. I mean, I'm sure he does, but it doesn't seem to consume him. After spending a couple days together in the same hotel room, our first mini China practice trial run, he could see that I worry way more than the average Joe. I have got to figure out how to manage this, should I start seeing a shrink or something? I feel like all I do is WORRY. It’s weird. Oh wait, shrinks are out of the question...wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize the adoption now would I?

Perhaps I should just quit adding to my plate and take care of the stuff that’s already on it.


Yeah, that sounds good. Ok, time to prioritize and come up with a plan of attack.

Someone please have some stiff drinks for me while you are all partying your rears off down south. Wish I could be there with you....


~~~~~update~~~~~

oops. I have caused quite a stir. I forget how many people I know and love read this blog. Shortly after posting, all hell broke loose. Phone calls, emails, and even a personal visit to my office (thank you L), everyone is worried about me now (which is not what I was meaning to do in any way shape or form). It's easy to forget who reads, most of my comments are from adoptive parents and I don't really know ya'll in person..so sometimes it just spills out. Plus, I'm pretty good at keeping it all in (not good) and then wham! you get a crazy post. :-) I didn't mean to worry anyone, but gosh...as L pointed out, "see how many people care about you?" I do. Thank you.

Bonus to sharing my worries (sheesh, I should try it more often), L came up w/ a good solution to my real estate agent worry.

Seriously, I am ok....

3 Comments:

Anonymous Angela said...

It seems like using the blog as a way to vent some stress and organize your thoughts is an effective tool for you. Perhaps just go buy a book on how to effectively reduce stress/anxiety/worry. There are lots of good books out there that will tell you the same thing a therapist would - but you have to be motivated. Good luck with everything!

10:58 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Oohhh Sara,

You do nee to NOT add anything else to your plate right now..
I can sympathize with the house buying stress.. it is so much more than I ever imagined.. and after my inspection debacle and cancelled contract, I have now put it on the back burner for awhile.. I need to get back into the right frame f mind before I can go through it again. My advice, find an agent that noone knows.. it will be less painful in the end. The mortgage guy I was using was a riend and it got really weird and uncomfortable when I felt it wasn't the best deal I could get. I wont do that again!!
Take your time and remember to breathe...

What a great reminder to see all the people that care about you.. share your worries with them, it will make you feel better to get it out there. And vent away... were always here too!!

~Kristen

8:30 PM  
Blogger cougchick said...

Hang in there Sara. and finish your homework! teehee.

9:18 PM  

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