Thursday, January 11, 2007

The lack of posts

Yep, I know. I'm behind in blogging, commenting, my yahoo groups...you name it, I’m behind.

I don’t know what’s going on with my blog and I. Life is busy for me right now, yet I still find myself finding some time here and there to draft posts, but then I re-read them, think they sound stupid, and then delete. I’m feeling really self conscious about what I write…

Why did I start this blog in the first place? Well, at first I started it as a way for friends and family to follow along on my adoption journey. I also wanted to be able to look back and know what I did during this time, so that I could share it with my daughter. Then, I started to “meet” other adoptive families through the adoptive community/blog world…and I felt my writing begin to change. I was no longer writing with the idea of updating friends and family only, I was writing with other adoptive families in mind - - writing to them in a way. Besides, my bloggy friends are the only ones who comment anymore…so it’s easy to forget that there are friends and family who still read this as well as a BUNCH of lurkers!

I think what it boils down to is the fact that I’ve found a community going through the same thing that I am and I want to share my experiences, because they understand. I want to learn from them as well. No matter what I do or how much I try to educate my friends and family…they will never understand like other adoptive families do. Sounds a bit harsh for friends and family, but it’s true…

Yet, there are some things that are very private and personal and I’m not sure I want the entire world to have access to my most inner thoughts and feelings, so I struggle with how much I should write. At the same time, it’s my only connection with others going through this.

I think for now, I will just continue to write from my heart and leave it at that. Yes, I’m sure there are things that I will write about that my friends and family will not understand nor approve of. Please know that I am never trying to purposely offend anyone, but this is my outlet (and it includes swearing…because yes, in real life I have a potty mouth. There, I said it).

I think what I am trying to say (and get over my writing block) is that I’m just going to be myself and quit worrying about who is reading this. If you want to stay with me and follow along great! If not, no worries.

Now, I’m going to hurry up and post this before I delete the whole thing!!

p.s. I’m disappointed in CNN and PZ..you have got to be kidding me on that one!! I was furious after watching the first show. I used to trust and watch CNN faithfully, now I don’t. Guess I’ll go back to reading BBC for news on the internet.

9 Comments:

Blogger Krista said...

I know how you feel. I started my blog for the exact same reasons but now it's become something more for me. I was very filtered at first because I was worried about what others might think (my grandparents, Dad, etc). But then I decided that this was MY blog, about ME, and MY decisions and choices and feelings. So anyone who reads can take it or leave it..

I say write for yourself and don't apologize for it. Good luck!

PS. We started the China Fitness Challenge group up again. Come join us when you're ready.

2:57 PM  
Blogger Connie said...

Your blog would end up ('scuse me) sucking if you were anyone less than you in your writing. Go at it, sista! I'll be reading.

3:12 PM  
Blogger Mark & Michelle said...

Glad to see that you are back!

If people don't like what you are writing, they don't have to read it!

4:09 PM  
Blogger Headmeister said...

It's about time you posted... I was about to send up a search party!!! ;)

You know, I totally get what you're saying. I once posted directly to my mother, telling her that she hasn't called me in three weeksn and to pick up the phone. I thought it was cute, I didn't mean to offend at all, and I thought she would truly get a kick out of the fact that I was writing directly to her... Well, she was pissed, to say the least. So, I don't blog about anyone in my family because I know they all read it. I don't air my dirty laundry about family stuff either, just to be on the safe side. But man, now that I realize that the ones who really read this thing are the adoption peeps, I wish my family didn't have a clue about my blog! Oh, and I totally forget who I gave the link to in the begining, and an aquaintence of mine emailed me the other day about something I wrote in the blog... my first thought was "HOLY SHITE! SHE READS MY BLOG?????" lol...

Yeah, so I'm there with ya... and f you ever need to REALLY bitch, or tell something just outright nersty to, I'm your go-to gal ;)

Blog away! I'll be here religously!

4:14 PM  
Blogger A Special Family said...

well said, I struggle with the same things, but the positive way outway the negative!

4:37 PM  
Anonymous yer mom said...

I'm 100% behind you Sara - swearing and all!! I'm amazed at your writing. You are an awesome girl. Keep on truckin'! (North Idaho talk there...)
love you!

9:05 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Hi,
Thanks for your post on my blog. Please email me your email address to betheescobar@yahoo.com
Thanks,
Beth

8:41 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

Hey, write whatever's on your mind...no one's going to judge you here!

PS glad you're back!

5:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sar, Sometimes the best things about your blog are the times when it's obvious you are writing from the heart w/o thinking about who is reading. It's mostly those times that I gain the most insight:) So to quote mom so famously "Keep on truckin'"-Potty mouth & all!! Marlea

2:15 PM  

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