"So, what's going on with the adoption?"
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And so it begins...School has started, campus is buzzing with new students, returning faculty, committee meetings, and the one time per year fundraising event planning has begun.
I am meeting with people that I haven't been around in quite awhile and I am being reminded of the fact that I told EVERYONE about my adoption. Why? Well, because last year at this time I was knee deep in adoption paperwork and pretty darn excited about becoming a mom. It still is exciting, but with the ever increasing wait...well, I've kinda just tried to ignore it as it makes me depressed. I don't really know what to say to folks who are now genuinely interested in what is going on....
Every meeting so far, at least 5 that I can think of in the last two days, ends with this conversation:
Them: "So, what's going on with the adoption? When are you going to get her?"
I am meeting with people that I haven't been around in quite awhile and I am being reminded of the fact that I told EVERYONE about my adoption. Why? Well, because last year at this time I was knee deep in adoption paperwork and pretty darn excited about becoming a mom. It still is exciting, but with the ever increasing wait...well, I've kinda just tried to ignore it as it makes me depressed. I don't really know what to say to folks who are now genuinely interested in what is going on....
Every meeting so far, at least 5 that I can think of in the last two days, ends with this conversation:
Them: "So, what's going on with the adoption? When are you going to get her?"
Me: "Well, things have been delayed"
Them: With a look of shock and horror, which instantly makes me feel defensive and reminds me of the time when my aunt told me my grandma thinks this adoption is just a scam..."why have things been delayed?"
Me: "Well, I don't really know. It's hard to explain" and then I try to launch into some sort of an explanation...which is really no simple task as no one really knows what the heck is going on and why things have slowed to practically a HALT.
I always end the conversation with..."don't worry, it is still happening, the process has just been delayed, at this point no news is good news...blah blah blah" and then I usually LIE and say "I was hoping to have her home by Christmas, but now it's looking more like Spring/Summer ish"...sigh...yeah right, I'll be damn lucky if it's by next Christmas, but who's keeping track? I digress...
So, the last conversation I had like this was this morning and I totally blamed the wait on the Olympics this time. It seemed to work as far as giving them something tangible to blame it on. Anyone else facing this issue? I am trying to stay upbeat and positive, but sheesh...I don't know what to say to explain the ever increasing wait!
So, the last conversation I had like this was this morning and I totally blamed the wait on the Olympics this time. It seemed to work as far as giving them something tangible to blame it on. Anyone else facing this issue? I am trying to stay upbeat and positive, but sheesh...I don't know what to say to explain the ever increasing wait!
I'm sick of it.
posted by Sara at 9/14/2007
7 Comments:
Well, they do always look at us with sympathy, don't they. They kind o make me feel like I'm a little kid, caught with my hand in the cookie jar. Like I was caught in a lie and I'm not "really" adopting. Well, one day you'll be able to tell them some good news and that will make it all ok!
Well, it is an education process. Once you start explaining, their eyes will start to glaze over, and my favorite is when they ask if it's delayed because of some paperwork snafu on MY part. "Um, no, that would not be it. It's sort of a CCAA thing... but then you don't know what that means, so... Oh, forget it!" I hear you.
Hey... it happened in Korea when the Olympics were there, so it ain't so far fetched! People just can't understand, it seems. I hit this brick wall all the time. I usually just say, "Ask me in 2 years, and I'll let you know how much longer I have to wait".
Im tired of it as well. I have stopped reading adoption blogs at work as each staff member wants to know if thats my baby?
Yup, know how you feel.
Some days this wait is just so frustrating and upsetting that I can barely make it through the day. Other days it seems like we are in no way prepared and the months are flying by.
What a rollercoaster of emotions we are on!! Some day this rollercoaster ride will be over and then we get on the parenthood ride! Ooooh the parenthood ride sounds kinda’ scary, lol!!
Smiles! :o)
Nikki
The Olympics is a good excuse. But I like Kris' idea - tell them "ask me again in 2 years"...lol
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